Curses!

I need to stop f@#*ing swearing so much. If my son’s first word is the four-letter fire truck word, my wife will ensure that my a*s is grass. The thing is, I love to cuss like a sailor, truck driver, stevedore, and your mom all rolled into one vile four-letter-word-spewing beast.

Some people argue that when people swear they are exhibiting a limited vocabulary. I beg to differ. If you’re talking about having a well-rounded vocabulary, why not use all of the words to exhibit a full range of nuances? There are occasions when a well-placed cuss says more than a paragraph of bullsh@t explanation. And sometimes it’s just fun to let some F-bombs fly.

However, while it is really f@#*ing hilarious when other people’s kids swear, it’s not so funny when your three year old lets it fly at the church picnic in front of the blue-hairs. Sure, when my son was younger I thought it was a blast to cuss, curse and swear to him, but, at six months old, he’s getting older and is really taking everything in. I guess it may be time to leave some of the colorful language behind... But swearing is so much f@#*ing fun! Man, I need to cut that sh!t out. Now. Seriously.